Disorder in the Court

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters – who had to bear the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

==

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of
the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

==

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect
your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something that you’ve
forgotten?

==

Q: How old is your son, the one living with
you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t
remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

==

Q: What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke up
at morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

==

Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a
person dies in his sleep, he
doesn’t know about it until the next
morning?

==

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old,
how old is he?

==

Q: Were you present when your picture was
taken?

==

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby)
was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

==

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

==

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

==

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

==

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.

==

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
A: Oral.

==

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined
the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an
autopsy.

==

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

==

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient
was alive when you began
the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk
in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been
alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have
been alive and practicing law
somewhere.

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