Dear Ann Landers (Hawkeye Fan)

Dear Ann Landers,

I am a sailor in the U.S. Navy. My parents live in Des Moines, and one of my sisters, who now lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, is married to a real estate agent who is a former football player for the Iowa Hawkeyes in Iowa City. They have three beautiful children and are doing quite well.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a life sentence in Leavenworth Federal Prison for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in State Prison on remand for charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who, indeed, is still a part time “working girl” in a brothel. However, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancé utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager.

I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully off the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her…

Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Hawkeye?

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