Hawkeye One-Liners

Q: Where was O.J. Simpson headed in the White Bronco?
A: Iowa City, Iowa. He knew the police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there.

Q: What do they call duct tape in Iowa City?
A: Chrome.

Q: Did you hear the Iowa library burned down?
A: The saddest part was that half the books weren’t colored in yet.

Q: Why is ice no longer available at Iowa home games?
A: Because the senior who knew the recipe graduated.

Q: How do you keep an Iowa Hawkeye out of your yard?
A: Put up goalposts.

Q: Did you hear about the Iowa Hawkeye with a personalized license plate ?
A: He made it in prison.

Q: Did you hear that the U of I president’s mansion burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Q: How do you get an Iowa graduate off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How many Iowa freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That’s a sophomore course.

A man walked into a doctor’s office. The doctor looked him over and diagnosed him with cancer. The doctor then said that the man only has 1 year to live. The man asked what he could do to make his life any longer. The doctor said, “Well, you could become an Iowa Hawkeye fan because that will be the longest year of your life.”

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