Washington, DC (Associated Press) - Congress today announced, that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India, as of March 1, 2011.

The move is being made in order to save the President’s $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.

It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President’s term. “We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge,” stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). “We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay,” Reynolds noted.

Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Congress to Outsource Presidency

Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for IndusTeleservices, Mumbai, India, will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY. Thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night. “Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center,” stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.

“I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President.” A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. “We know these scripting tools work,” stated the spokesperson. “Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about.”

Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.

A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama’s extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his ‘special’ smile.

Stopping advertising to save money is like stopping your watch to save time.

~Anonymous (via @itsjustshelley)

What a great day to be a Cyclone fan! Not only did we beat number two ranked OSU, but we are now bowl bound! I had goose bumps watching this game last night. And through technology I got to “virtually” watch the game with dozens of my friends and fellow alum through the miracle of facbook and SMS. I hope Ames wasn’t burned to the ground last night? That place had to be crazy! What a great start to my weekend!

A couple of weeks ago I received a free sample of Axe Hold and Touch Hair Gel.  I must say, I was very pleasantly surprised with this product.  I wouldn’t call it “gel”.  It’s a cross of pomade and hair gel.  Unlike pomade the constancy is similar to toothpaste at the same time a little stiffer and dryer than a gel.  I’ve never liked pomade.  It always left my hair feeling waxy and was never easy to work with.  Axe Hold and Touch Hair Gel really is the best of both worlds.  It was very easy to work with, not too wet, not too dry.  It did a great job of holding my hair all day and damp hands later in the day will do a nice refresh.  While I don’t really spike my hair, this product would hold in a spiked messy kind of ‘do.  It was light and my hair really was touchable all day.  I might have actually found a new hair product!

I would link to the product page on the Axe website for more information, but www. theaxeeffect.com is an absolutely horrible website that is hard to navigate and doesn’t really provide any usable product info.

Everyone is a genius.
But if you judge a fish on its abilty to climb a tree,
it will live its whole live beliving it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

An Amazing Throwable Ball / Camera that captures a full 360 Degree spherical panorama when thrown into the air.  This prototype was developed by Marc Alexa, Bernd Bickel, Carsten Gremzow, Kristian Hildebrand, and Jonas Pfeil. The panoramic camera has 36 digital cameras layered in an protective foam shell.  The photographer simply gives the ball a toss.  When the camera/ball reaches its apex (the highest point in the flight path) it automatically snaps 360 simultaneous photos and stitches them together to provide breathtaking images.  You have to see it to believe it:

I am NOT the 99%

I am a college senior, about to graduate complete debt free.
I pay for all of my living expenses by working 30+ hours a week making barely above minimum wag.
I chose a moderately priced, in-stat public university I started saving $ for school at age 17.
I got decent grades in high school & received 2 scholar-ships which cover 90% of my tuition.
I currently have a 3.8 GPA
I live comfortably in a cheap apt, knowing I can’t have everything I want. I don’t eat out every day, or even once a month. I have no credit card, new car, iPad or smart phone – and I’m perfectly OK with that.
If I did have debt, I would not blame Wall St or the government for my own bad decisions.
I live below my means to continue saving for the future.
I expect nothing to be handed to me, and will continue to work my @$$ off for everything I have.
That’s how it’s supposed to work.
I am NOT the 99% and whether or not you are is YOUR decision.

Author Unknown.

A very funny, but very true and well articulated rant about the current state of our economy and US government.  This rant called Stop It B! OBAMA PAY YOUR &*%$#% BILLS is by Felonious Munk.  Balance the &*%$#% budget!  We all have to balance our checkbooks, why can’t the government?  How am I supposed to tell my child capitalism is a better than communism when we are borrowing all of our &*%$#% money from China, the largest communist system in the world?  What is the governments Credit Score?  310?  Caution, contains adult language.

Steve Jobs - iSad - Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers.

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.